Once again I encounter the same old
problem, none of the priests or ministers I know
has tried to tackle. And there is tremendous guilt
I am talking about the love of sex
and the love of God.
So we get all these examples of preachers,
genuine men (mostly men) who swear their love
for our Lord in Heaven on Sunday morning,
but find themselves crawling down a sidewalk
on all fours chasing an attractive set of buttocks
on Wednesday night.
Or kneeling in a darkened room staring
through one-way glass, as a hooker he has
hired strips and exposes herself... on the other
side of the glass... and masturbating.
And then we get intense weeping
sessions some months later, "I HAVE SINNED!"
And the sessions are quite moving
the preacher prostrates himself
and gets the whole congregation
to pray with him.
These are the honest preachers, I'm
With others, I suppose, it's worse.
The ones who cannot admit what they are
doing even to themselves...
They must live in hell.Not so much
because of the sex, I hope, but because
of the lying false front they put on -
the hypocrisy - pretending one thing
and doing another.
It's important to remember,
the Lord of Hosts,Y H W H. Yahweh was
originally worshipped by mankind as a fertility
God - for the warm salty sacred rain
that inseminated between the furroughs of
There is nothing new in this
thinking. God originally was sex, fertility:
so there's nothing wrong with sex -
instead it's a matter of sanctification
and focus - and if that sounds vague
to you, that's O.K. It sounds pretty
vague to me also.
So there need not be this
major rift - this, "I'm ashamed. I'm so guilty"
versus, "I am pure and beyond fault."
Perhaps there are some activities
that should divide the human psyche
in this very way - but sex ought not to be
one of them.
What sex is is an easy tool, an
easy fall guy, an easy way to manipulate
men and women, and make us feel shame.
WE ARE MOST VULNERABLE IN OUR SEX
It is easiest to make a group of people
pay protection money for their sexual activities.
For there is already an element of shame. It's
easy to stir up guilt in this ballpark... whether
guilt is appropriate or not.
A dog feels no shame as he humps your leg;
he's just in a hurry, that's all.
But we would feel shame doing the same
thing in public - why I'm not so sure. Maybe we're
just afraid of looking ridiculous...
So.... how to heal this SPLIT. How
to make ourselves whole?
This rift between the flesh and the spirit.
This split between man and God
Right this second my mind is blank
I don't have any answers.
But I think it's important to put
the question out to you people - is this important?
Or do we enjoy watching the torture so
many ministers and priests go through?
To be honest with you, I do enjoy
watching the drama these guys go through
over purity, sex and sin. You have to admit,
it is entertaining!
And we all have the same drama
inside us - to a certain extent. I mean. everyone
who has been brought up through this
particular regime of Christianity - we all have
this basic drama.
When we revive the original nature
of the Eucharist, I am certain
we will find this whole display I am discussing -
we'll find it incredibly silly.
I refer you to Robert Graves' book,
"What the centaurs ate. Or the introduction to
his two volume set: "The Greek Myths" . Or
best of all - read the Endnotes.
Also, read John Marco Allegro's
essays on early Christian religion.
When the priest or the Christ
said: "Eat this - this is my body. Drink this,
this is my blood," he wasn't talking about
a tasteless wafer, or empty wine!
The churches know this. And the
Catholic Church definitely knows this - with
all the ancient sacred texts it still holds and
represses in the vaults of the extensive library
of the Vatican.
The sacred mushroom was
an essential part of the Eucharist from the beginning.
That was the bread - that is the body of Christ,
this is what helps us to attain Christ Consciousness.
Everybody knows this! All
the priests, yet they deny and deny. Why?
The issue is control - population
control, and financial control.
The issue is also political control
We've been hoodwinked! The problem
isn't really flesh vs spirit... The issue is:
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE EUCHARIST?
Are we not adults? Are we not allowed
an adult Eucharist?
No, the priests prefer to treat us
as children. They are the father and the flock
is his children.
Well, you have seen what priests
in the past have done to children. They've
done it to us, too! We've been screwed!
There is a force on this Earth
that does not want us to be fully
Fully conscious beings -
they are the worst consumers! Why is
this? Conscious beings... and by this I mean
right now, those of us who partake of
Christ Consciousness... there is very little
we need to buy.
We are already one with the
Universe and the Father who is creating it.
How can we ever be deceived?
The Catholics don't put on any such
displays. They've got it down. They are
organized.... They merely move their
peodofile (sp) priests into another parish.
The old churchman, Origen, had a
solution: he cut his testicles off.
I was in the process of doing the same
thing, but lucky for me, my wife intervened.
And today I'm glad she did.
There's no point in pretending this
isn't a problem. This IS A PROBLEM - this
apparent SPIRIT versus FLESH split.
I thought it was MY problem.
I lived too much of my life alone,
and hence I thought I was weirder than I was.
I thought putting a rope around my testicles
was way out there...too eccentric...
too aberrant to discuss.
Now, having done extensive research,
I realize I'm not alone. I'm not the only
weirdo on the block, and I thank God for
I have a tendency towards mania,
which I sometimes quite enjoy... if I don't
spend every penny I have.
My manic/depressive nature
is also a sickness I share with many others.
I told my friend Allen I was a
manic-depressive, he said:
THE WHOLE WORLD IS MANIC DEPRESSIVE
This isn't true, but there is some
truth in it. We all have these tendencies.
He said; "Not everybody climbs church
towers, the way you do. Not everybody
howls and gets all the dogs
going at 3:00 A.M. Most people are just
smarter than you are this way... they are
not showmen.... and they know how to
keep their odd traits quiet."
Or my friends Peter and Cathy...
When Cathy read one of my short stories
dealing with a sadomasochistic situation.
WE ALL FEEL THESE THINGS, IT'S JUST
WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THEM.
Well, O.K., this is more like it.
I want to say I am very thankful.I am
not all alone. I am not the only strange
duck. The whole flock knows strangeness.
I started a blog, THE WHIP AND THE CROSS.
It shares articles sometimes with this blog.
But the name, "THE WHIP AND THE CROSS"
started out as a joke about Sunday morning
preachers who abase themselves
on Friday nights.
It's really not that funny a situation,
but I am determined to laugh about it -
rather than just feel horrendous guilt and
We have a SPLIT down the centre
of our psyches between the FLESH AND
AND THE SPIRIT
This has to be dealt with
psychologically. We have to get to
the bottom of the story. I know the sobbing
confessions of preachers on T.V. are
kind of fun.
Nevertheless we ought to take a
few steps towards resolving the madness.
Rather than quote whole
Gospels from the Nag Hammadi Library -
the Christian Library dug out of the sands
of Egypt 68 years ago,
I'll quote shorter passages...
All the passages I quote
will be from what was written on the
top of that cliff, that place I
consider to be holy - Temple's Gate,
that Place of Power, that place
where the Lord of Hosts
I tend to type up the text
exactly as I wrote it down originally.
I was in a higher state then, so
I don't want to do much editing now.
The text itself:
Jesus said: "The Kingdom of the
Father is spread upon the earth
and men do not see it."
"There is nothing that shall
not be revealed and there is nothing
covered that shall remain without
being uncovered. "
"The wise man throws his line into
the sea, and out of many fish, keeps
"See Him who was not born of
woman; prostrate yourself upon
your face and adore Him;He is your
"You shall stand as a single One
with all my other disciples, and with Me.
For he who attains to Me shall know